We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
