why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
