i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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