I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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