Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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