So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
