i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It's blow job season.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
