The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
