Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
