Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
