AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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