Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
