Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
