Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
