I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
