I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
