Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
