I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
