I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
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I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
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My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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