Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
