He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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