I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Ladies don't puke and tell
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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