The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
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