Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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