its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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