how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just invented taco cereal.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
