I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
