It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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