Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
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