Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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