some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
