Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Rumble strips road head = magical
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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