if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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