Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
