Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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