saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
