She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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