nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
