I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You can't just leave with hair like that
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
