It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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