Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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