Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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