I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
