she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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