it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
