Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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