I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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