Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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