the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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