you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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