why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
