Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
