i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
