forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
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He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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