My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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