Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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