dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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