and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
