erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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