I hate all girls vehemently.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
