big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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