Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
