please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize