Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize